Talking to Pregnant Women 101

So unless you're blind, you can tell I'm pregnant. I've discovered that once people know you're pregnant, they can't help talking to you about it. Some of it is sweet. Some of it is dreadful. Here are some of my favorite quotes from the last few weeks.

A Home Depot Lady:
"Let me look at your butt. Having girls always makes your butt big." After she looked at my butt...seriously, she checked me out. "You're good so far, but I'd watch out."

On a cruise to the Bahamas:

The server:
"Good morning baby!" And then she waved at my belly. She said nothing to me, just the belly.

From a random Paula Dean look-a-like in the elevator:
"When are you due?" "June," I said. "Oh dear, you're going to be HUGE." Calling anyone huge is always a confidence booster, right?!

From a casino waiter:
"How's your baby boy doing?" "It's a girl," I said. "No, they're wrong, that's a boy. It looks like you've stuffed a basketball under your shirt. They're wrong all the time." Expert medical advice from a cruise ship casino worker.

In Coco Cay, Bahamas:

"Let me guess, it's a boy." "Nope, it's a girl," I said, again. "Well, I'm 90% right." I guess I was the 10% they got wrong. It's amazing how people tell you what you're having even if you know.

From the persistent hair braiding population: "You want your hair braided? Braiding be good for 'de baby." Not sure how it would be good for anybody ;)

A woman in line at Publix: "Look at you! You look like you swallowed a watermelon!"

The important lesson to learn is- if you don't know the pregnant person in question, don't talk to them about being pregnant. Weather always makes for great conversation :)

A Permission Slip for Pregnancy

I'm reminded of my early school days when everything required a permission slip, but then again, I was under 18. Now that I'm "old", I figured the days of getting a note signed were over. Well....not if you want to cruise. Royal Caribbean requires that you prove that you're pregnant- but not too pregnant to cruise their stellar ship. In their eyes, I'm only cruise worthy for 5 more weeks, which I guess saves me from an embarrassing story of saying that my premature baby was born up on on the promenade deck. Glad they thought of sparing me of that tragic story. What I think I really should need a permission slip for is wearing my maternity bathing suit in front of Greg's co-workers since this is a company cruise. Although I doubt any one would approve that....

We're having a girl and moving to Alaska.

Well, Jill's not aware of the move yet, but I figure a cold, secluded locale is the only viable option for raising a daughter. Obviously I'm a bit terrified. Only having a brother growing up, my knowledge of little girls is about on par with my knowledge of the human genome - needless to say there is much to learn. My initial reaction was to invest in chastity belt futures until a quick Google search revealed that any site that shows up with the search terms "chastity belt" falls into the category of waaaay unsafe for the work environment.

In all seriousness, we found out at 9:23 this morning and are very excited. In addition to finding out the sex they checked out all the other vitals as well - everything is normal as we progress towards a late June delivery.

In what we fear is a harbinger of things to come, she was very active and already seems to be quite adept at the "Queen Wave."




Bear could not be reached for comment...

Halfway There

Mom is feeling fine.